By Marilyn Evans

One of the big transitions I see in families is the shift from raising children… to partnering with them as adults. And one of the most meaningful steps in that shift is beginning open, grounded financial conversations. Clients tell me all the time that they want their children to be prepared—not overwhelmed. They want clarity, not confusion. And they want to pass along not just wealth, but wisdom.
But knowing how to begin can feel tricky.

Many parents worry about saying too much too soon. Others worry about saying too little and leaving their children unprepared. The good news is that adult children don’t need every detail—they need guidance, context, and clarity about the bigger picture.
One of the most effective ways to begin is by focusing on intentions rather than numbers. Research from Fidelity’s Family Financial Literacy Study shows that most adult children want more transparency about their parents’ wishes, values, and goals—not necessarily account balances.  Conversations that begin with, “Here’s what matters to me and why,” tend to feel more natural and less intimidating for everyone involved.

Another helpful entry point is future roles. Adult children don’t need to be fully involved in decision-making, but they do need to know whether you expect them to serve as an executor, trustee, or financial power of attorney someday. These responsibilities are much easier—and far less stressful—when children understand them ahead of time. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau emphasizes that early communication helps reduce family conflict and confusion later on.

Clients also ask whether they should share their estate plan. You certainly don’t have to share dollar amounts if you don’t want to. What often matters most is that adult children understand the structure—what documents exist, who to contact, and what your priorities are. Many parents find it helpful to share the “why” behind certain decisions, which tends to build trust rather than surprise later on.

When families feel stuck, I often suggest a few questions that can gently open the door:
• What do I want my children to understand about my values and long-term wishes?
• What decisions would I want them prepared for if something unexpected happened?
• How can I give them clarity without placing pressure on them?
• What structure will make things easier—not harder—during emotional times?

These conversations can happen gradually, and they don’t need to be perfect. What matters most is starting them before they’re needed. Families who do this often share that it brings more peace of mind than they expected.

The goal isn’t to hand over control. It’s to reduce uncertainty, strengthen communication, and help adult children step confidently into the roles they may someday hold. When done thoughtfully, these conversations become part of the legacy you’re building—not just financially, but relationally.

Compliance-Friendly Note
This material is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as individualized tax, legal, or investment advice. Family financial communication needs vary widely. Clients should consult with their tax professional, legal advisor, and financial advisor before making decisions related to financial or estate planning strategies.

Sources
Fidelity Investments – Family Financial Literacy Study
https://www.fidelity.com/bin-public/060_www_fidelity_com/documents/fidelity-insights/financial-literacy-family-study.pdf
Consumer Financial Protection Bureau – Planning & Family Communication

https://www.consumerfinance.gov/consumer-tools/retirement/before-you-claim/
American Psychological Association – Money & Family Dynamics
https://www.apa.org/topics/money